Time Again - Part I

It was a different time. A time when he could be more careless. A time where smile frequented his small face. He lived his life not exactly on his terms. But he was happy nevertheless. Maybe because he didn't think of it much. There were problems, which was bound to be there in any life. And he was glad that he lived life to the hilt whenever it required.

But he had changed now. Times were different. Responsibilities had come knocking. He was not one of the kind who would buckle down or who would run away. He was the one who faced it head on. Circumstances were not always conducive but he remained undeterred. He knew fate had it written for him. He was bound to come out victorious. Or so he wished. He was Raman Ramesh.

Looking towards the thick rooted tree outside his window, he could see the sparrows chirping. Been quite a while since he had seen the sparrows. It was as if they had disappeared. He tried counting them and it occurred to him that indeed there were not much of them anyway. He remembered a article he read sometime back mentioning the phenomenon of disappearing sparrows. He didn't think much of it that time. But now when he did see the delight it was bringing to his otherwise mundane life, he was feeling sad. A sense of loss, as if some near one had gone away.

A voice called for him. He turned around back to the world he was looking away from. The home had become a house, a dwelling where he returned every night to sleep. Crumbling peels of paints to the black spots of water coming from the roof, the walls were a sad story. Discolored floors were disinterested as well. The furnishings were unwashed, untidy and ugly. Life had left the place long ago and it seemed to take something out of him every moment.

He called her his wife when they went to social gatherings. At home, he hardly talked. There was nothing to talk. It had become a life where on every 10th he put the money on her table. She kept on rambling about his mother, his children, his indifference and his silence. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered now. All he remembered was his face. It was etched in his memory. And he would never forget for what had happened. Never again ...