The Beginning (Working title)

The streets were covered in darkness. The lights illuminating selected portions. Shadows were long, lights dim. Silence & thoughts were together.

He did know where he was going, but he was slow. The paces were timid as if he could just delay his reaching. Avalanche of memories overcame his thought. Every now & then the mind remembered her face. That face of sadness, of uncertain melancholy, trying to be detached from her surrounding. She was present physically but her eyes, her mind wandered. He thought of her eyes. It had so much depth. It had so much to say. If only eyes could speak. They could tell tales the heart could only imagine.

As he neared the apartment he could see the lights of the room on. There were people moving. There seemed to a lot of commotion, a bit of confusion. He started feeling a bit nervous. There was a underlying fear. He could sense it but didn't know why it was there. There was nothing that he wanted to hide, but maybe he was being pragmatic. They could never understand what he felt and how did that feeling come about.


His steps started to betray him. Suddenly he didn't want to come in contact with all of them. Their falsities coming across every smile, a smile which could have been comforting but somehow it was mocking him. The eyes of the familiar ones would question his presence. It was as if he was somehow responsible for the agony of the deceased. He wanted to leave. He wanted to run. Run away to desolation. Run away to where his past could never question his presence. If only it could be so simple.

He had to be present however. He had to be present to show he was strong afterall. He was not weak to shy away from those questioning eyes. He did not know what to expect of such a gathering but he could not come in terms with it. He wanted to give a strong answer to every question asked, any doubt raised but he could not think of anything. Any thought of any answer would rejuvenate her memories.

She was not beautiful in terms of physical beauty. In fact no matter how hard he thought, he couldn't think of any physical aspect he was attracted to. She had long hair and a round face. Her eyes were small, very much a mix of Nepalese & North East Indian. There was a small scar below her left eye but it seemed to protect her innocence rather than tarnish her appearance. Her lips were thin devoid of any lipstick color. She wore big ear rings. A bit odd for her small round face. There was not much that could be said of her smile. It revealed more sadness than pleasure. The most vibrant of smiles was full of loneliness.

But her voice was charming. Her voice soothed senses. A gift maybe from providence to reassure her. She did wish to sing publicly when she was young. Enchanted by the voices of the stars singing in movies, her heart bloomed in childhood. Her sweet voice had filled the lonely valleys, the desolate lanes and unreached mountains. It was as if they all forgot their loneliness when she sang.

Now as life so full of irony, the same loneliness had taken her away. He could not help but wipe the tear. He would miss her so much. Her loneliness, sadness brought so much gloominess to his existence but nevertheless he craved for her companionship.